Why does everything involving legwarmers end in tragedy?
Jenny and Tina are freshmen at Bemidji State University in the northern reaches of Minnesota. Jenny was particularly drawn to BSU because of its supreme catchphrase:
I mean, look at that guy climbing an aggressive rock face. I am perceiving his actions as bold, and I am simultaneously linking him to a tier 3 hockey school on the border of Canada. “Bemidji State: Where No One Can Hear Your Sighs Of Boredom.”
Jenny didn’t play it like that, though. Freshman year is a time of experimentation, doing crazy shit you never imagined doing when living under the roof of your drunk dad and overbearing mom.
So Jenny went to the Bemidji Goodwill and grabbed some awesome leg warmers. Since it was September 15, obviously there was snow in the forecast and she wanted to be prepared.
That evening, however, Jenny and Tina drank a few nips of cinnamon schnapps and got a little frisky. Armed with an iDock and hundreds of T-Pain songs, they headed into the communal bathroom of their dormitory to get down and dirty.
Jenny is not used to getting schwasty. Trying to impress Tina, she hopped on the bathroom sink and starting bouncing her ass like she thought they were doing in Sisqo’s Thong Song video (tl;dr: that’s now how it looks, Jenny. You’re so Minnesota white).
Obviously, girl didn’t practice before going live in front of a studio audience. She’s fine, but the internet will never forget her overly enthusiastic brush with death.